My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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