Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
