I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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