Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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