I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
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He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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