Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
