I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
