How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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