thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize