can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
