the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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