Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
