I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think I sprained my soul last night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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