that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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