You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
