I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
