I need help removing her.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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