Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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