I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
