im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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