i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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