One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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