Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
