Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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