Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
its liver damage thursday
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
