I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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