let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize