idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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