Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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