apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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