More tranny stories later!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
