Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We need to rekindle our bromance
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
