I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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