It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
