my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
