my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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