I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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