If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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