do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just had sex on a roof
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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