Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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