Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
