I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
