toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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