Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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