is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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