peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
