belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
