I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
