my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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