tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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