he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
