google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
