I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize