Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
