The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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