hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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