the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
