Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
