Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
