His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
