it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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