can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
