Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
