is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
