We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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