During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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